The CONNECTOR is most at ease connecting, appearing open to other people and freely sharing information. On the surface (unless they are stuck acting out their Perceiver father) they seem to be the friendliest of all the types, always willing to engage and have a chat. They smile almost compulsively around strangers, carefully conserving the frowns and the bitterness for spouses, children and close friends. 

Publicly they are our Pollyannas. "Don't make waves" is their unspoken motto which makes them the perfect match for the "Let's go DO it" Performers and their excess of righteous indignation.

Connectors are extremely generous with their time and have great difficulty putting a price tag on anything they do.

Stylistically they are often highly original and they instinctively feel that they have a "creative" side which they are comfortable expressing.

Of all the types they most frequently describe themselves as being overwhelmed by the feelings of others.

When threatened they retreat into a vagueness that often passes for a loathing of detail. In fact it's an attempt to escape detection by becoming diffuse.

When Connectors walk they move their hips alternatingly up and down. Their most striking physical characteristic is their almost flat behinds. There's also a characteristic wobbley head movement very much like that of Balinese dancers.

Romantically they need to be pursued but sexually they are the natural initiators

Connectors least favorite feeling is ANGER. They avoid this with DESPAIR which they hold in their ligaments. The other feeling they are eager to avoid is FEAR which they cover with DISMISSIVENESS  in what I call a " joy number."

Because they usually hang out in (i.e., are most energized and most conscious in) their bone marrow and their ligaments their outer perimeter is undefended leaving them with a sense of being both unbounded and unboundaried.

Connectors are drawn to Performers as heterosexual partners and Perceivers as homosexual partners.

Their mothers are Comprehenders and their fathers are Perceivers.

They crave appreciation and fear being betrayed.

Famous CONNECTORS

Prince Albert (Queen Victoria's consort)
George Washington
Dwight David Eisenhower
Jimmy Carter
Judy Garland
Marilyn Monroe
Henry Fonda
Spencer Tracy
Ringo Starr
Jackie Kennedy Onasis
Kim Cattrall (Samantha in "Sex and the City")
Queen Elizabeth II
Goldie Hawn
Abraham Lincoln
W.A. Mozart
Sean Connery
Jerry Seinfeld

CONNECTOR Countries and Cultures

China
Polynesia
Africa
Ancient Egypt

​

The COMPREHENDER is most at ease with understanding, synthesizing, putting information into context, seeing every side of every question, getting perspective on the "big" picture. Because his favorite emotions are pain and satisfaction - the ones most associated with tears - he is often considered "emotional."

Comprehenders are perpetual students with a particular fondness for history although they often act in an a-historical manner. That is to say every day is a "new" day for them. In each relationship they swear that they've never felt anything like this before - and at that moment they believe it.

Comprehenders are the great chameleons among the types. They often look at the system and say, "Well, I could be any one of those." They also have the capacity to be great salesmen and very versatile actors. They are the world's cheerleaders, giving encouragement to others when self-doubt sets in.

They move their shoulders back and forth alternatingly when they walk. The men tend to have broad shoulders, narrow hips and skinny legs about which they can be very self-conscious. The women incline towards prominent derrieres about which they are similarly shy.

The emotion Comprehenders are most eager to avoid is FEAR so they often retreat into CONTEMPT in order not to experience it. This leaves them hanging out energetically in their bones and their tendons. Consequently their energy is pulled in and they seem to have no clear outline to their bodies or sense of physical boundaries.

Their second least favorite feeling is ANGER which they disguise with DESPERATION.

They are natural pursuers when it comes to courting. If they passively allow a Perceiver to seek them out the connection rarely holds. Sexually they are also natural initiators.

Comprehenders crave respect and fear being abandoned - so much so that they ofter walk out of a relationship just to keep this from happening.

Comprehenders seek Perceivers as heterosexual partners and Performers as homosexual partners.

Their mothers are Connectors and their fathers are Performers.

Famous COMPREHENDERS

Henry VIII (Henry Tudor)
Thomas Jefferson
Bill Clinton
George W, BUsh
Richard Nixon
John Lennon
Liza Minelli
Renee Zelwiger
Johnny Cash
Brad Pitt
Al Pacino
Sandra Bullock
Tipper Gore
Lotte Lenya
Charles Windsor, Prince of Wales
Bllie Jean King
Cynthia Nixon (Miranda in Sex and the City)
Rudolph Nureyev
Mikhail Baryshnikov
Joan Rivers
Norman Mailer
Peter Matthiessen
Warren Beatty
Jack Nicholson
Woody Allen
Arnold Schwarzenegger


COMPREHENDER Countries and Cultures

Japan
India
Korea (North and South)
Latin America
Arabs
Jews (but NOT Israelis)

PERSONALITY TYPES

_____________________________________________________________________

Just as there are four fundamental human activities, four kinds of emotions, four kinds of emotional defenses and four states of emotional shock there are four distinct personality types. Each one of these types habitually uses a different set of emotional defenses, automatically goes into a different state of shock, is most comfortable with a different pair of emotions and most adept at a different fundamental human activity.

I've given names to the types that reflect which activity comes the most natural to them.

The four types are:

• The Perceiver
  

• The Performer
  
  

• The Comprehender
  
  

• The Connector
  

What type you are is determined at conception. That is to say it is determined by what types your parents are. There is an unvarying genetic geometry that controls this. It's created through a mechanism called "gene imprinting." This structure is shown on the "Type Marriage Chart" on the "RELATIONSHIPS" page, which you can download.

The imprinted genes from your mother determine whether you will be inner boundary or outer boundary - whether your consciousness, your sense of self,  will reside more in the tissues closer to the interior, or exterior, of the body.

The imprinted genes from your father determine whether the parasympathetic or sympathetic part of your autonomic nervous system is dominant.

So we are all like our mothers in the direction of our visceral presence (outer or inner) and all like our fathers in how our autonomic nervous system functions (more inclined to calm us down or rev us up).

You will see that this produces four distinct combinations:

• Outer-body Boundary and Parasympathetic  (PERCEIVER)
  

• Outer-body Boundary and Sympathetic (PERFORMER)
  
  

• Inner-body Boundary and Sympathetic (COMPREHENDER)
  
  

• Inner-body Boundary and Parasympathetic  (CONNECTOR)
  

​DISTINGUISHING QUALITIES OF THE FOUR TYPES

In addition to the emotions they show, the emotions they hide and the defenses they use each type has other distinguishing characteristics - physical, emotional and mental. 


The PERCEIVER, most at ease with taking in information, is often seen as "unemotional" because the activity of perception is such a mainstay of western culture that the feelings fueling it go virtually unnoticed. He has to be very excited or very frightened about what he is perceiving for people to credit him with having a feeling about it.

He loves to put things in categories and sub-categories because making fine distinctions - seeing with great clarity - is second nature to him.

He appears to be slow to anger and will argue long and patiently, trying to get you to see his point of view before finally exploding.

Because energetically he is usually in his nerves or his skin he seems to have clear outlines to his body.

When he walks he swings his hips back and forth - the classic runway walk for Perceiver women.

In courtship he is the pursued, not the pursuer. If he chooses the opposite role he does so defensively and does not make wise romantic choices. Sexually, too, he starts out in the passive role unless he has been wounded in this area and the waiting makes him feel too anxious.

The emotion he is most eager to avoid is PAIN.

His second least favorite feeling is NEED. He would rather feel "humiliated" than admit to hinself that he needs something from someone.

He craves affection and is most afraid of being ignored.

If you pay a Perceiver a compliment he will usually respond by giving you information about  whatever it is you've remarked favorably upon.

Perceivers are heterosexually attracted to Comprehenders and homosexually attracted to Connectors.

They have Performer mothers and Connector fathers.

Famous PERCEIVERS:

Franklin Delano Roosevelt
Alexander Hamilton
Mary Stuart, Queen of Scots
Ann Boleyn
Hillary Clinton
Marlene Dietrich
Meryl Streep
Cher
Paul McCartney
Ben Affleck
Paul Newman
Clark Gable
Princess Diana
Madonna
Al Gore
Joni Mitchell
Carole King
Sarah Jessica Parker
Ethan Hawke

PERCEIVER Countries and Cultures

U.S.A.
France
Canada
Ancient Rome

TYPES, ACTIVITIES AND FEELINGS

Each type is most comfortable with one activity, and is most comfortable with a pair of feelings that provides the energy for that activity.

• The PERCEIVER takes in information (perceives, observes) with:
  EXCITEMENT or FEAR.
  
  

• The PERFORMER responds to that information (performs, acts, does something) with:
  DESIRE or ANGER.
  
  

• The COMPREHENDER puts the information and the response to the information into context, relating it to himself (comprehends, knows, understands) with:
  SATISFACTION or PAIN.
  
  

• The CONNECTOR shares what he knows (communicates, connects) with:
  LOVE or NEED.
  

​

TYPES AND DEFENSES

Each type is also most comfortable with a particular set of emotional defenses which are related to that type's instinctive physical defense. These emotional defenses are held in the tissue just outside the tissue that holds the emotion swith which the type is most comfortable.

The PERCEIVER creates a wall with his skin and stands against:

• FEAR with HATE

• ANGER with ANXIETY
  

• PAIN with JUDGMENT
  

• NEED with HUMILIATION 
  

The PERFORMER charges up his fatty tissue and fights against:

• FEAR with RESENTMENT

• ANGER with AGITATION
  

• PAIN  with CRITICISM
  

• NEED with EMBARRASSMENT
  

The COMPREHENDER  moves restlessly inside his tendons, running from:

• FEAR with CONTEMPT

• ANGER with DESPERATION
  

• PAIN with PITY
  

• NEED with GUILT
  

The CONNECTOR hides in his ligaments from:

• FEAR with DISMISSIVENESS
  

• ANGER with DESPAIR
  

• PAIN  with INDIFFERENCE
  

• NEED with SHAME​​​

_______________________________________________

THE EMOTIONS OF THE PERSONALITY TYPES

__________________________________________

_____________________________________

SEXUAL PATTERNS OF THE FOUR TYPES

Each type moves through all four feeling states and all eight emotions during sexual intercourse in order to reach orgasm. They start with their most accessible emotion and end with their most vulnerable or inaccessible emotion.

Here is the order of emotions for each type:

• PERCEIVER: excitement, fear, need, love, desire, anger, pain, satisfaction.
  
  

• RESPONDER: desire, anger, pain, satisfaction, excitement, fear, need, love.
  
  

• COMPREHENDER: satisfaction, pain, anger, desire, love, need, fear, excitement.
  
  

• CONNECTOR: love, need, fear, excitement, satisfaction, pain, anger, desire.​
  

​The PERFORMER is most at ease with acting, doing, making something happen. As with the Perceiver he is often thought - even by himself - to be "unemotional" because "Don't just stand there - DO something" is the underlying motto of western society. The emotions which allow him to act - anger and desire - are therefore not observed to be emotions at all unless he is experiencing them in the extreme. So we say about a Perfomer, "He knows what he wants" (desire) or "She's quick to defend herself" (anger) instead of "this person is easily in touch with the emotions of desire and anger."

Performers have an intense sense of justice and are usually regarded by others as impartial and fair. The have a sense of duty which makes them the typical "good samaritans," always willing to pull over and help out if there's an accident. They're also generally considered straightforward and honest. Their eyes have a "hard" quality that makes you feel they are boring into you.

They are extremely quick-tempered and hate to be criticized although they are very free with their criticism of others.

Performers move their shoulders up and down (left up and right down, then vice versa) - the classic "pimp strut" for the men.

The emotion Performers are most eager to avoid is NEED.

Their second least favorite feeling is PAIN. 

Like Peceivers they also appear to have clear outlines, radiating most of their energy from muscles and tendon. But they appear more angular with many of the women having almost no indentation at the waist. 

Performers are the natural pursuers when it comes to courting. If they sit around waiting to be asked they usually end up with the wrong person because this is not a vulnerable role for them. But sexually they are receivers, not initiators - at least in the beginning.

The Performer craves acceptance and is most afraid of being excluded.

Performers are heterosexually attracted to Connectors, and homosexually attracted to Comprehenders.

Their mothers are Perceivers and their fathers are Comprehenders.

Famous PERFORMERS

Elizabeth I of England
John Adams, 2nd President of the United States
Harry S. Truman
George H.W. Bush
Clint Eastwood
Charlton Heston
George Harrison
Julia Roberts
Keira Knightley
Tina Turner
John F. Kennedy
Robert Kennedy
Ted Kennedy
Mamie Eisenhower
Stephen Colbert
Barack Obama

Bernie Sanders
Queen Victoria
Brooke Astor
Gloria Steinem
Johnny Carson
Cornelius Vanderbilt
Kristin Davis (Charlotte in Sex and the City)
Larry David
Carol Burnett
Katherine Hepburn
Charlie Sheen
Emilio Estevez
Kirk Douglas
Prince Harry
Prince William
Aristotle Onasis
Kristen Scott Thomas

PERFORMER Countries and Cultures

Great Britain
Germany
Sweden
Norway
Denmark
Israel
Ancient Greece

Julie Motz's theory of an emotional universe

MARRIAGE AND FAMILY CHART

This chart illustrates what types marry what types, what type children each kind of couple has and how the traits of outer or inner boundary and parasympathetic or sympathetic nervous system orientation are inherited.